This article explores transformations within the intimate lives of married couples in Ireland between 1963 and 1980. I use data from the problem page of renowned agony aunt Angela Macnamara to chart evidence of a renegotiation of the traditional love/lust balance identified by Wouters (1998) which has, I argue, contributed to a greater democratization emerging within these relationships. The problem page reveals tensions between a declining traditional moral code espoused by Macnamara and a new language of sexual and marital fulfilment. This new language was increasingly heard on television chat shows and soap operas, in newspapers and magazines, in Ireland and abroad. It was the language of the women’s movement and intellectuals who challenged Catholic social teaching on pre-marital sex, contraception and divorce. This article gives a unique insight into the intersection of the private lives of the column and the broader structural changes which continued to shape those lives, including Macnamara’s, over a 17-year period.